There are those moments you have as a mom. The moments late at night, when there are no phones, no cameras, no computers to document the sweetest parts of motherhood. The secret times. The connections that are shared one-on-one, simply between mother and child.
Like the way Bennett lays his head on my shoulder at night, tucks his hands between my chest and his, as I rock him and walk around his room when he's teething. Or the way Grayson announces, "It's morningtime, Mommy!" each morning, and then crawls into bed with me for "Snuggletime!" Or way past Brantley's bedtime, after Grayson has fallen asleep, when we take selfies on her Leap Pad for her to look at when she gets afraid of "bugs and monsters and spiders" in her room. The way Bennett plays with my necklace every single night when we're saying our "I love you's" before he goes to bed.
And then there are even more moments that are secret; private little rituals that are so special that even sharing them with someone else would ruin their significance. Those things that you share with your children, that build trust and rapport, and those seemingly minor occasions that truly mean the most as a mother. The songs you sing. The prayers you say. The silly ways you read stories or make faces. Those are the best times. The special times that nobody else knows about; that will forever be between you and your child. And who needs a camera for those moments anyway? Those moments are written on your heart, and etched into your soul, never to be forgotten. Private and sacred.
I pull those memories and moments out of my pocket on hard days, on the trying and exhausting days, and try to remind myself that I will never be loved, and I will never be needed as much as I am now. I am molding small lives and small hearts, and the hard days are the days we learn the most. They are also the days to be most grateful for. They are the days we can flip through our memories and look back on those beautiful moments of motherhood that only we know, that only we can appreciate, and remember what a gift it is to have children to share those moments with; those moments that make the hard days worth it.