Wednesday, August 15, 2012

T Minus 6 Weeks

I am 34 weeks today and can hardly believe it. This pregnancy has truly flown by, yet in some ways I feel like it's taking forever. But now that only 6 weeks are left, I am definitely seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. We will be a family of FIVE shortly!

I am intentionally blocking my face because I didn't want you to be insanely jealous of how smoking hot I look at 11:30 pm with no makeup on... :)

It was a mere 10 weeks ago when I was told at my 24 week ultrasound that my cervix was shortening prematurely, and that I would have to rest and relax for pretty much the rest of my pregnancy. I wasn't on official "bedrest," but if it wasn't necessary that I be up and standing or walking, I needed to be sitting with my feet up. NOT what I had wanted to hear with almost half my pregnancy left, EVERYTHING to do before the baby was born, and oh, not to mention the two little active humans that I was already raising at home. I was beside myself for about 2 weeks. Terrified. Was I going to be able to handle Brantley and Grayson and keep them happy while getting the rest that my body and Baby Bennett needed? And even more scary, was Bennett going to arrive much earlier than expected? I didn't know the answers, and worst of all, I felt completely out of control. But thanks to the AMAZING support of my husband, my mom, and the rest of my friends and family, here we are, only a few weeks from being full term. I have had ultrasounds every two weeks since 24 weeks, with almost no change, which is good. The girls are doing great, the house has not burnt down, Scott and I are very happy, and I am still pregnant. SO many blessings.

And speaking of blessings, on one of the days right after the 24 week ultrasound, when I was really down and upset, I randomly came across a bible verse that touched me in more ways than one:

The Lord will fight for you. You need only be still.
Exodus 14:14

I got chills and started crying immediately after I read it. The Lord will fight for you. You, Amanda, are not in control. You need only to be calm and trust in the Lord and everything will turn out okay. You need only to sit on the sofa and literally be still for your body and your child, and God will take care of you.

There have been a few difficult moments in my life when I have needed guidance, that God has truly reached out to me and spoke to me through scripture. And ironically, it has usually been when I have gotten so inside my own head that I have forgotten to turn to prayer. I have to be completely honest and say that it did not relieve all worry and concern (I am really trying to work on that; "Let go and Let God" is something I'm striving towards) but it certainly made me rethink the way I was thinking, living and acting, the way I was treating my girls, Scott, and the way I was experiencing this (and overwhelmingly likely, my LAST) pregnancy. I needed to relax, be calm, and let God fight this battle for me. And I have. And He has too.

And here we are, with only 6 weeks to go. My midwife said that once I got to 35 weeks (only 1 week away!) that I could pretty much do whatever I wanted, and the baby would be safe to come at any time. What a relief it will be to get to next Wednesday. In the meantime, though, I intend on enjoying this last bit of my final pregnancy as much as I can. I have most everything done that I really need to prepare for Bennett's arrival, and of course there are still things that I would like to have done before he gets here. But if the pantry doesn't get organized, we'll probably survive. And I'll have the rest of my life to rearrange my laundry room shelves. What I won't be able to do as easily after Bennett gets here is simply snuggle one on one with each of my precious girls at ages 3 and 1. I won't be able to sit in the quiet of the late evening by myself and feel my last baby kicking in my tummy. I am really going to try to not focus as much on my to-do list(s), and concentrate on spending my time and cherishing these last weeks with my wonderful and beautiful family of four. We are more than thrilled to be completing our family with the birth of our baby boy, but I want to make sure Brantley, Grayson and Scott all know how important they are to this family. More important than any list in my notebook.

So three cheers for 34 weeks, and bring on 35!!
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  1. Amanda, what a lovely post. This made me smile and tear up this morning. I'm so glad you were able to get little Baby B to 34 weeks - he's lucky to have you as a Mommy.

    1. You are too sweet. :) :) Thanks for your nice comment. :)


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